PROBLEMS & SELF BELIEF
By Avi Alog
Who doesn't have problems in their life?
Problems with our family, problems with our husband or wife, with children, with work.
But one of the biggest problems that we have in life, is with ourselves.
Did we ever think that the problems we have in life are not really problems? That we just changed them to be like that?
A problem or a failure are not really what they are, we just decided to call them like that.
Let's say a man that was fully devoted to his purpose, and failed somewhere along the way, he can see his failure in two ways:
In one way, he can say that he failed and he can't move forward anymore. He would not try to do it again from the fear he will fail again, he doesn't want to feel the same feeling, he will give up his purpose and do something that he didn't want to do but he see's no other option.
The second option is that he can see this failure as a lesson, as another step towards his goal. He will keep his way and learn more with every step that he takes, the meaning of what happened to him won't be as a failure but as another step forward!!
If we will look at it differently, we will see that it was the same situation but with a different meaning.
No one told us that the road will be easy all the time, but if we decide to look at it in another way, our lives could be different.
When we look at successful people in our life, we see that most of them started from nothing, they fell down many times, and there were millions of people like them, but the difference between them was self-belief.
They believed in their way when everyone else didn't.
They didn't let anyone or anything come in their way, instead of sitting and crying about their mistakes, they kept moving forward.
So if we will look at their situation in a different angle, all the things that happened to them was meant to be, they needed to go through all of those things to be where they are now!!
Situations like that happen every day all the time in the world, and im not talking only about financial success, because success has many explanations..
Success can be: building a family, go to school and learn new things, having patience for our kids, love your family and friends without questioning.
Everything that is positive in our lives can be seen as success, and our life would feel so much different, because we will tell ourselves... We succeed!!
Somehow through our lives, we learned how not to love ourselves but to be sorry for who and what we are, how much we suck and are not good enough, not beautiful enough, our the ego became ourselves.
We care about what would people say about us or how they will look at us. But the person who was the hardest and most brutal to us, who brooked us every time, was ourselves.
How many times we stand in front of the mirror and complain about our look, how fat we got, how old we became.
We always give other people advices, compliments, but when it comes to us, we only complain or criticize.
The question is why?
Why we are abusing our self. Why abusing the only person in this world that feels exactly what you feel?!?
In my case, back then, as a person who had lack of self confidence, stood in front of the mirror and "blessed" myself about my look, my weight, my character, I just hurt myself over and over without thinking twice.
I used to blame my past, my parents, my surroundings, the city I lived in, I mostly lived my past instead of my present.
In my opinion a lot of us still live like this, always reminding ourselves the past, that we wont forget how weak we were back then, or how stupid we were.
Somehow we forgot that it happened already, that it is behind us, but we were scared to get rid of that, because this is what we did the best, to remember only the negative.
That's how we hold on to our fears, we prevented ourselves to make any progress in life.
How many of us were wounded from relationships?
How many of us still afraid that it will happen again?
How many times we asked ourselves "why me?"
And the answer, regretfully, is us.
Our thoughts became our fears, our disappointments, our anger.
Our insecurity was built because of the situations we had in life.
The thing is, we invited ourselves to those situations from the first place without even knowing it, the prophecy is fulfilling itself.
Before we even started a relationship we were afraid, "what if I get hurt again?", "what if he/she is lying?"
We thought more about negative things instead of the positive, we didn't give any hope for something good to happen so how could we get anything good in this way?
But why do we think that way with ourselves? Because it happened back then? Few weeks, months or years ago??
Is that a good reason to hold on to it? And lets say it was a good reason, does it help us in any way? If we gonna keep leaning on our fears, on our failures, how can we possibly run a healthy and happy life?
Regretfully a lot of people thinks that there is no such thing as happiness, that only difficulty exists, that we can't do more than what we are doing right now, because "this is life".
Somehow we gave another meaning to the word "life", a word that has so much inside of it.
In our daily routine and the pressure we live in, we forgot about ourselves, about our will and desire, we got stuck into this crazy life routine that sometimes we don't even know what it is all about, but somehow, we are following it like blind people without even looking what is it doing to us.
If we would open our eyes just once, we could see things differently, we will understand things differently, we will stop giving weight to negative things in our life and give more light to the positive things that happening around us, we will see that it's possible to enjoy the way and not think only how would it be at the end.